What on earth made that loving woman become a beast overnight? What could have made that woman you have so much confidence in decide to destroy you? What brought about the sudden change that has made you to become more careful due to feelings of insecurity whenever you are around your woman; the same woman you trusted with your life? Why did she change from that sweet, humble, caring, virtuous, and beautiful woman you were once in love with to a total stranger?
Our society tends to heap blame on the woman when it comes to matters of the heart. Like a friend said; “relationship comes to an end the moment a woman decides so”. Nigerian women are very good when it comes to keeping relationships. They can endure all that men put them through for as long as there is breath in them, but the very moment a woman says enough, you better watch it because there is nothing as raging and destructive as the fury of a woman.
I know this won’t go down well with some men who hate the truth, but it doesn’t matter if you choose to dislike me for saying the truth; only the truth shall set you free. I want us to look at those things men do that can get a woman to turn her back. Haven’t you heard women make comments like; “I have taken my mind off him instead of losing my sanity”? When a woman begins to make comments like this, there is fire on the mountain.
Lies and fake lifestyle
Guys always make the mistake of pretending to be what they are not just because they want a woman. This is absolute rubbish and should be stopped. Any woman you get through lies and deceit, you will surely lose through those same lies and deceit. I know a good number of Nigerian girls are so inclined to run after money that the importance of true love is now being swept under the carpet. I don’t think any girl is worth lying for. A woman who is truly in love with you will remain with you at all costs. The things every real woman wants to see in you are vision, leadership ability, and organization.
I see guys struggling so hard to date a billionaire’s daughter. They would literally empty their accounts to buy her a new posh car as birthday present. You see them spend all just because they must appear to be what they are not. What happens after the marriage? You start complaining about her, that she is not being submissive. Boy, she cannot be submissive to a husband who is nothing but a liar and deceiver.
To save your neck and your marriage, please be real from the first date. If all you have in that account is five hundred dollars, please don’t go on with the lies about hundreds of contracts that have not been paid for. The lies about your ATM card expiring and your cheque book either finished or forgotten in the Bahamas during your just concluded holiday shouldn’t come in. If she loves you, she will go on with you just the way you are. The only man I advise women to run away from is a man who does not use his brain and has no vision in life. There is hope and future for anyone who is focused and hardworking.
Over using the woman
We have very lazy men all over the place. They are the ones who drive the best of cars (Car Hire), and wear the best designers. They are always clean shaven with very good fashion sense and American accent to make girls trip. But like the popular saying goes; empty vessels make the loudest sound.
We hear them in America complaining about Nigerian ladies going wild and becoming uncontrollable the moment they get to the USA. So what do they do? Guys come over here and get women who are science inclined to marry and then get them into nursing schools over there after which they stay back and watch the woman work herself to death. Even here in Nigeria, our men now look out for ready-made ladies all because they want control without responsibility. If any man cannot provide for his home, he is worse than an infidel- 1Timothy 5:8.
I see girls with their invisible application forms once a man says he needs a nurse to marry. I don’t really blame them because out of ignorance, they fall prey to those lazy men. Nigerian guys are some of the laziest people over there in the USA and some would even choose crime in place of a legal job.
There is a friend’s cousin, a young girl who was deceived by one of these con men into marrying him. The guy came to Nigeria and met this young, beautiful medical doctor whom he married out of deceit. On getting to the USA, this lady found out that the guy was a taxi driver. She started carrying the whole burden of paying bills and taking care of her three children alone. After a long period, the stress began to tell on her and she was left with no other option than ask for divorce. When next you hear them complain about the behaviours of our women over there, please ask some questions before judging.
Abuse: Physical, Verbal- Emotional
A good number of Nigerian men are guilty of physically abusing their spouses. I know women can be very annoying, but what makes you a man is your ability to get her crawling on her feet without you raising a finger on her. I don’t even know what our female legislators are doing about this; they all forget themselves the moment they get elected into office. I am still waiting for that day when there is a law and a functional body protecting the Nigerian woman from domestic violence.
Some men always come with the defense that the last thing they will do is raise their hand on a woman. This is good because any man that beats a woman is nothing but a coward. There are men who will not beat a woman, but will use their mouths destroy her. A good number of women have given up on life and have lost hope in their chances of making it simply because they are in a relationship with a man who constantly talks down at them. Verbal abuse can take the form of telling her she’s stupid, useless, and no good. Verbal abuse undermines the woman’s confidence while giving her low self-esteem. I was once there where I saw myself struggling to become another woman due to negative words that had over time gone into my subconscious. But I bless God for the grace to be out of it and reaching for greater heights.
Be careful what you tell the woman in your life because whatever you allow her become goes a long way in determining the future of your children. You should always remind her of how beautiful, wonderful, smart, and intelligent she is. You build the world when you build a woman.
There is another group that will neither abuse a woman physically nor verbally, but everything about their action is wrong. These men abuse their women emotionally. Emotional abuse is about your attitude towards her. The fact is that emotional abuse can also be carried out through words through repeated criticism, disapproval or the man’s refusal to be satisfied. As a pastor, do you pretend to be preaching to the congregation when you are indirectly talking to her about last night’s misunderstanding? Do you praise other women more than you praise your wife? Think!
If you go on with the abuses physically, emotionally, or verbally, a time will come when that woman puts up a high wall of defense around her. You believe beating her is the only way to make her fear and respect you. The fact is that you are ignorant because when you beat a woman, she is being hardened and toughened like a man. Once this happens, you have fire and brimstone raining daily in your home.
Lack of care
A good number of men are selfish and greedy. I lose respect for a man the moment I see his wife is not being cared for. Your wife is your glory and her look speaks volumes about you. Stop that attitude of keeping yourself trimmed and cute for your girlfriends when your wife is not worthy of a second look. When next you visit that Spa, please take her along for a treat. Forget about yourself a little and shop for her. Love is not selfish.
Most guys now talk about Nigerian women being too materialistic; I agree with you, but to an extent. Why do you go on sleeping with that woman and letting her give you the fruit of her body when you are not ready to give her the fruit of your hands? It is even a crime waiting for a woman to ask for money before you give her. You won’t love me for this, but it is expected because truth is always bitter. My dear friend, love gives sacrificially. The easiest way to determine the extent of your love for a woman is how much sacrifice you are ready to make for her.
If you go on with your uncaring attitude believing your wife doesn’t really mind, katakata go bustoo. Some men join churches where jewelries and beautiful clothes are not allowed. They make them believe those things are worldly, but they go on wearing designer suits and shirts; who is fooling who? I love what the great Evangelist ,Dr Uma Ukpai once said-“...every woman in this church wants to be the best dressed, brother don’t believe your wife when she says she doesn’t care about those things; give them to her and see if she does not appreciate them”.
Inability to satisfy her sexually and emotionally
Guys always get it wrong when it comes to sex in marriage. The rate of promiscuity is really high because women are starved of sex in marriage. This is one reason you shouldn’t marry that teenager because you will be weak over time and will be unable to satisfy her. I know there are women who are demon-possessed that no amount of love making can get their eyes off the road. But there are very decent women who have either gone into extra-marital affairs with men or lesbians. Men are so engulfed in their businesses and with other women that satisfying their wife sexually has become a problem. Guys, please look into this and save our women. When a woman is sexually fulfilled in marriage, just a look at her face in the presence of the man says it all. She automatically becomes a mugu for the man.
Apart from sexual satisfaction, every woman craves acceptance and appreciation. As a matter of fact some of the fundamental needs in human nature are the need to be appreciated, loved, accepted, and celebrated. She wants you to admire her beauty; intelligence, godliness, and hard work. When are we going to start holding hands together while taking a stroll in the evening? What stops you from giving her a peck before marching to the high table with her? When are you going to stand and make sure she is comfortably seated before taking your own seat? No matter her age, she still craves for your admiration and wants you to let the whole world know how much you love her. Celebrate your woman.
Infidelity
They say man by nature is polygamous, but I believe there are still a few decent men around. I was touched the day a friend who is a Senator shared his moment of unfaithfulness with me. This man was shedding tears as he told me about the very first and last time he was lured into infidelity by a woman. I saw a man who has conscience and who truly loves his woman.
Infidelity in marriage has a way of destroying the home. You may think you are getting away with it, but the truth is that as you go out there to sleep with a woman, there is transference of spirits to your wife the moment you have sex with her. This is why you see your lovely wife change over time to become something else. Be careful because you may never know what spirit that girl carries around. The truth is that because of infidelity on the part of the man, many women have resorted to keeping young guys outside, indulging in lesbianism, or probably engaging their domestic staff.
If you are guilty of doing these things to your woman, you are gradually turning her into a beast. The moment a woman becomes a beast, there is no turning back.
Source: Amara Blessing
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