Ladies keep coming to me and sending all kinds of messages. Some complain about guys dating them for years and leaving them for another when it’s time for marriage. Others believe it is because they are from one evil community and so witches won’t let them be. You are not married, not because there is no man ready for marriage; a good number of men are looking for life partners. I keep getting messages from men asking me to introduce girls to them. Some have worked out, but a good number of these girls got me feeling bad. Now I am more careful when it comes to referrals.
One of the reasons why Nigerian men are now scared of marriage is waywardness and unfaithfulness. Men are now afraid of marriage because they don’t know who to trust and they are also not sure if that beautiful girl they are interested in still has her womb intact. These young men sleep with married women and so they no longer have regard for marriage.
A man recently told me why he does not allow his girlfriends come to his house. According to this man,he doesn’t want a case where a girl enters his house only for her to refuse leaving because of the beautiful house and cars she will see. You want a ready-made man instead of a growing man with vision. Are you aware that if you have not obtained favour from God, the man will decrease instead of increasing when you enter his house?
Work on your character-the words that come from your mouth, your lifestyle, the way you carry yourself, the way you dress, and the places you visit. Spend time trying to find favour before God because it's only favour that can make your husband increase the moment you step into his life. In fact, the moment a man proposes to you, there must be some positive movements in his finance if at all you have obtained favour. All you need is a man with vision. I am not asking you to marry a jobless man; he must have a job and a house even if it’s just one room. But don’t sit there waiting for the son of Dangote to come.
It is never your duty to go find a man. While he is working trying to raise money to sustain whoever he takes home to his mother, you should get yourself busy obtaining favour from God for you to be his source of blessing .A man knows when the wife is a source of blessing and that is the only time he cherishes you. Stop working very hard to find a man; he will find you. Just focus on what you are doing, carry yourself well and know that it is not just about being a good girl. You must be able to take care of your body.
The man, when he finds you, should take you home to his mother. I don't understand why you get married to a man who believes it’s just between the two of you. Search the Bible; they all took their wives home to their mother. If a man cannot take you home to his people, something is wrong. Isn't it surprising how many of us are married without knowing our husband's village and his mother's bedroom? Marriage in the African culture is not between the man and woman alone, the two families must be involved. How many of your husband’s relations do you know? I once heard the story of an ex governor in one of the South-West States. This very man had his girlfriend live with him for years. His wife believed she is her husband’s cousin. She got married from the governor’s house. What a wicked thing to do. This is happening to so many women today.
Hey, you have to stop moving from one prayer house to the other in search of miracles that are not coming even after you might have emptied your pocket. Go back to your room; deal with your character and bad nature that is filled with pride and disrespect for the elderly. Cut down on frivolities; that is not all; deal with your party and asoebi spirit. You must deal with that thing that gets you to aimlessly move from one end of the street to the other all in search of precious souls to destroy. Change that mentality that says you use what you have to get what you want; any man you get with your ass is as filthy, unreliable, and irresponsible as you are.
C’mon girl, go deal with yourself first before you start blaming your step mother of being the one keeping you down. Stop blaming your neighbours and friends of standing on your way to progress. I just told you the bitter truth which your Alfa, Babalawo, pastor, and Imam may never tell you. Stop wasting your time chasing shadows, go and deal with yourself first before complaining.
I know of a wonderful lady who sings so well that when she comes to lead in worship, miracles take place. People love her, but this lady is unmarried till date. It is not because men don’t go to her for marriage, it is not because she is ugly; her number one obstacle is her character. They say there are many old single ladies in our churches; I think I know the problem. The problem is that most of these ladies wasted their lives in frivolities only to realize the last minute that they have to run into the church where they get a brother to marry.
I am not trying to judge anyone’s past, I encourage people to accept others when they change. But the issue is that even when they join those churches, their character does not change. It’s really appalling how some ladies talk to men simply because they are in the same church. Some of them fight everyone in their department in church while some live their lives begging from one member to the other. What do have to say about ladies who fight for food during church meeting? Those guys would be foolish to see the stuff you are made of and still go ahead to take you home to mama.
You are now on social media “Face booking” and “tweeting” about parties and night clubs. You are now there exposing your breasts and flat tummy. That time is coming when the tummy will wrinkle and the breasts sag. You engage in all kinds of vulgar jokes with men on social media; I thought some jokes are for men alone and never for real women. I am sure you will then start preaching on Facebook and your BB status will then read, “Jesus is my all”.
I always tell ladies that if by the age of thirty, no man had asked to know if you are for sale, there is something wrong somewhere; its either spiritual or attitudinal, but the truth is that it is always more attitudinal than spiritual. I am not talking about you not being married because marriage is not all a woman needs in life; some people make up their mind not to be married. You are to be worried when from birth until you become an adult, no man has asked for your hand in marriage. Not that the marriage didn’t work out; they just date you and go without talking marriage. You have been fasting and praying and going for all levels of deliverance but it seems nothing is working.
What is your character like after all the prayers and religious devotion? It is sad when I see a single girl walk up to a married woman sitting with her husband and telling the woman to get up because she was there before her. In Nigeria, our culture demands respect for married couples. You attend functions with extra bags to pack food and drinks and when it’s time to hit the dance floor, you do that as if there is no tomorrow. What do you expect from life when you are the source of all quarrels in your neighbourhood, church, and office? What do you want from a man when you know all the night clubs and eateries in town but cannot raise a broom at home?
This is the moment of truth and if at all you want to be delivered, your decision to deliver yourself is the first step to your breakthrough. Don’t forget; it is still the grace of God. But we shouldn’t take advantage of this grace and also note that the grace available to your friend may not be available to you.
Source: Amara Blessing
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